NHD Draft

I feel okay about my draft. I'm saying that and I always feel only ok with my writing. I never know how to feel about it. I'm concerned about the order that I put the events in my paper. I feel like it is too chronological and not an argument based paper. I'm unsure about how it sounds, I'm not good and hearing a formal sound in my head, so I don't know if that is the language I wrote in. It was easy to get a basic Idea of what I wanted to say, but hard to write it down in detail on the paper. I knew the events and how I was going to number them, but I was not so sure about the detail.

I don't know what I need help changing because I don't know what I did wrong in the paper. As said before, I'm not good at judging my own paper. I really should focus my feedback on organization, and sentence fluency when I receive it. I'm quite nervous about my grade because if it is bad, I'm not in the mood to change much in my paper. I also think that I repeat my self too much. I say something in one paragraph and then again in another, but I guess that's ok since it is an argument. I can stress the point of the repeated sentence.